For maybe two years, I was in a state of depression. Within that span there were moments of darkness and clarity, but the overall state was always present.
I think it is difficult to deal with people in this state because a depressed person is often indistinguishable from an uncaring person.
I often assumed a blank persona, not because I didn’t care about what the other person thought or felt, but because I was unable to access the proper emotion.
When faced with this situation, I often felt obligated to mimic logically the societaly-accepted emotional response.
The performance worked if the other person was too narcissistic to notice other’s reactions, but if they were hoping to form a genuine connection, even my best acting came across as condescending.
Social situations turned into situations with only negative consequences, and so I succumbed to the neutral settlement of no interaction at all. It felt logical to forgo society all together, leaving what relationships I had at a distant but undamaged state.
I’ve lost some friends, but I’m doing okay.
~Fin
Waiting for Satan 
I hope you don’t mind a stranger saying my heart hurts for you. I know well the story you are living right now.
– Nancy
Thanks, Nancy. you’re comments are always very kind. I’m actually doing okay right now, but It’s a day-to-day thing. Thank you very much for all your comments.
This really brought to light some of the things that happened, but just know that you haven’t lost me as a friend. Your honesty makes me feel like I’m getting to know you all over again 😃
Thanks, Kelsey. Means a lot.
It’s so good to have you back. 🙂
Thanks, Tony. Now if only Crumble Cult would start again…
Soon. 😉
Welcome back, I’m glad you’re doing better. It’s good to talk about it.
Yeah, it does help. Thanks, Patrick.
I wish more people understood this.
Me too Bec, but at the same time, I understand that its really difficult to comprehend the state if you haven’t felt it before. I mean, on my good days I’ll often look back on my depressive states and feel a little beguiled, like “what’s was that guy DOING?” Thanks for commenting.
I understand that, but the prejudice is terrible against mental health issues. It’s just awful. And no worries, I love your blog. It’s so brave
now i want to give you a hug.
this is…really strong.
and well communicated.
thank you for sharing.
(sorry if i sound like a dork. i might be a dork. but i am a sincere dork.)
Hey Everyone! Look! This guys a big DORK!
(Seriously thank you though).
Depression attacks many of us. But I have left it on the kitchen table and left it for dinner.
Did…did you eat it?
Constant depression is a state no-one wants to enter. Believe it or not, I am also there very frequently. I have empathy, I relate and please know that my heart and mind are always with you. Also know that you will survive–look at me —I made it to almost 76. Love you Q-man!
Thanks, Grandma. Geez. I miss you. I hope you and Milly are having a good time.
It will always be a day to day thing. Keep up the good work.
Thanks, Djdfr. I appreciate it.
Just saying good shout. Keep breathing.