Dealing with Jesus Bros

So on my campus there’s these dudes that sometimes come up to you. I think there might be girls too, but so far only dudes have come up to me, and they always say something like “can I ask you a question real quick?”


They always say “real quick” or “real fast” in order to emphasize how brief the time you spend together will be, like I’m expected to believe the dude chatting up strangers doesn’t have a lot of free time.


Back in early years, when I was naïve and optimistic freshman, I actually tried to listen to these guys. We’re all part of this beautiful collegiate learning family, aren’t we? Why shouldn’t I listen to what my brother in education has to say?


As it turns out, they only cared about one thing…Our Lord and Savior—Jesus Christmas.


I have dubbed these men the esteemed title of JESUS BROS.

Now, Freshman Me was never a huge fan of organized religion, no matter how ripped and delicately draped in loincloths they made their personal saviors. Even as a kid, I was pretty sure that Jesus looked less like a Hitler’s ideal swimwear model and more like the people we were at war peaceful conflict mission with.

Nevertheless, I thought that these people might have something to offer me, so every time one of these guys approached me on campus I tried to listen.

FIXED shit5

Pretty soon, however, I began to realize these guys didn’t share my platonic concept of open dialects. Instead, they liked to hit rhetorical passive aggression statements like “If you had the chance to save your soul right now, only a fool would pass up this opportunity, right?” or “If someone loves you with all his heart, shouldn’t you at least try to love him back?”

I began to hear these key phrases repeated so often, in such analogous order, that I grew suspicious if my side was being listened to at all. And then, just as one of these Jesus Bros was about to hit the climax of his speech, it came to me…


Shit 8 Shit 9 Shit 10 Shit 11

And so, like those before me, I began to descend the long road towards cynicism…

Shit 12 Shit 13 Shit 14


25 thoughts on “Dealing with Jesus Bros

  1. haha I can understand that. I believe in God and Jesus but I do NOT think it’s ok when people pressure others into believing in what I believe. I have friends that are Muslim, Atheists, Wicken as well as undecided lol. We’re only human.. How can we dictate what a supreme being would actually want.? I like how comical you made a very annoying situation haha ^.^

  2. I have to say, a lot of those things are not in the Bible. Christianity is a wide spectrum.. I remember when I realized the sinners prayer was not in the bible. A friend told me the book of Acts was a good place to start reading because it would tell me how to be saved. You know what I did? I went home and tried to find the sinners prayer in the Book of Acts! It was not there! I started searching deeper and I found some great things. I found a relationship with God. I don’t care about trying to impress someone. I have a background so I know what my logic was when I was there. I can understand your point of view.

  3. Don’t let certain types of ppl dictate your relationship with God. I’ve found that if I live my life by example then ppl will see I’m not a hypocrite. I’m human, I make mistakes and I still sin but by God’s grace is the only thing that makes a difference between me and the nonbelievers. There are some ppl who call themselves Christian but really, truly don’t have that personal relationship with Jesus and sadly are just there for show. Doesn’t matter if someone is baptist, methodist, catholic, etc. as long as they know that relationship of God and know He is never far away. A lady I once knew said this and its stuck with me…”if there was no promise of heaven I would still chose to follow Jesus b/c my life is better with Him in it.” Just food for thought. 🙂 Thanks for letting me comment!

  4. I enjoyed this a lot. Even as someone who has religious beliefs, those “Jesus bros” are sometimes the absolute worst. We have on my campus an old man who aggressively yells at passersby about how his religion is the only “right” one and uses some of the same “save your soul, stupid!” rhetoric you mention here. Excellent illustration of the topic at hand. 🙂


  5. thank you for passing by my blog, Mr. Parker. I really appreciate your visit. Hope you’ve enjoyed it. A re-visit invitation is always open. I do find you blog interesting as well.

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