You can’t walk in the grass by my apartment complex, because if you do, you will step in goose poop. Goose poop, like most bird poop, is not as unpleasant to step in as say, mammal poop, because birds eat mostly grass. You don’t really notice it, and it doesn’t stick to your shoes, but if you look down, you feel like a disgusting human being.
Due to no choice of my own, I am now relatively familiar with the behavior of geese. Here are three behaviors I have observed:
#1 Geese are braver alone than in a group.
#2 Geese and squirrels are surprisingly cool with each other.
#3 Geese possess the ability to hiss AND THEY HAVE TEETH.
The particular goose I happened to step on spends a lot of time on the sidewalk. Maybe he just wants attention, because he should know by now that sitting on sidewalks highly increases the probability of getting smooshed by humans.
How do I know it’s the same goose?
Because all the other geese have flown back to Canada.
At first I thought it was because he couldn’t fly, and his friends had to leave him behind.
Apparently, this goose just likes to hang around my sidewalk, making my life that much more difficult.
And thus mankind and goose grew a little bit closer.
~Fin.
Waiting for Satan 
Oh yes they sure do hiss, and stick their tongues out too. Hilarious!
It’s terrifying. Birds shouldn’t be allowed to hiss.
LMAO….Oh, the joy of simple humor. Another great one.
Glad to see you’re not above a good poop joke.
Oh this made me laugh. I remember when I was 12 and a goose chased me. They are vicious bastards.
Geese are surprisingly unfriendly.
Nailed it again!
But ….
*WARNING: Semi-hippy comment impending*
…. please don’t feed birds bread. It ain’t good for them.
Is it like emotionally damaging? Because bread makes you fat?
Yes, it’s very bad for their fragile self-esteem. The government already spends 10’s of dollars on goose-counselling, so you don’t want to add to that problem.
LOL…a hearty belly laugh was so great to start the morning with!
Good morning.
Hugely funny! And educational, too. By the way, your sandwich looks nice.
It’s a lettuce sandwich.
Geese suck, mean nasty, and dirty