Category Archives: General Debauchery
Timmy, The Agoraphobic Teen
A lighthearted change of pace. This is because I didn’t write it. My friend @erinoppenheim did, and I drew on it as an unrequested gift. Please bother her on twitter. That kind of things matters to her for some reason.
Things That Happened This Week
I Drew Everything
Last week, I said I would draw anything anyone asked. People asked, and I did.
Thank you very much for all the kind, thoughtful comments. Your words are my fuel. I’ll be back in May. Don’t forget about me. I swear I shall return.
(Be more specific next time, Dee.)
I’ll return, and my posts will have 33% more explosions to appeal to the hip, young demographic. See you in May!
I’ll Draw Anything
UPDATE: Keep commenting. Rather than responding one at a time, I’ll compile the drawings into a post next Thursday. Also, thank you for all the very kind, very thoughtful comments.
Hello everyone. First off, let me tell you that you’re beauty is outweighed only by your sparkling intellect and management skills.
Let me tell you, life is really wearing me down. I’m dealing with some medical shit, which leads to emotional shit and also monetary shit (money is the emotion of America).
I’m going to take a break from blogging until May, just so I can finish up school and try to get my life back on track. I’ve been humbled by all the amazing feedback and encouragement I’ve received here. After years of believing comment sections to be evil places of dangerous vitriol, I’ve been amazed by the intelligence, insight, and general good will of those who comment here. This blog has received almost 500 comments, and I haven’t had to block a single one. That’s kind of amazing.
To prove I’m not vanishing (and to prove I love you), anyone who comments here will get an original, ms paint, digital art picture. Ask me to draw anything, and I swear to Vishnu-Jesus I’ll do it.
Three Comics about Shakespeare
You can’t walk in the grass by my apartment complex, because if you do, you will step in goose poop. Goose poop, like most bird poop, is not as unpleasant to step in as say, mammal poop, because birds eat mostly grass. You don’t really notice it, and it doesn’t stick to your shoes, but if you look down, you feel like a disgusting human being.
Due to no choice of my own, I am now relatively familiar with the behavior of geese. Here are three behaviors I have observed:
#1 Geese are braver alone than in a group.
#2 Geese and squirrels are surprisingly cool with each other.
#3 Geese possess the ability to hiss AND THEY HAVE TEETH.
The particular goose I happened to step on spends a lot of time on the sidewalk. Maybe he just wants attention, because he should know by now that sitting on sidewalks highly increases the probability of getting smooshed by humans.
How do I know it’s the same goose?
Because all the other geese have flown back to Canada.
At first I thought it was because he couldn’t fly, and his friends had to leave him behind.
Apparently, this goose just likes to hang around my sidewalk, making my life that much more difficult.
And thus mankind and goose grew a little bit closer.
Why I Didn’t Post Last Week
I keep getting in trouble with my English teachers for being too mean. This has been going on for a while.
There’s something very uncollegy about the check-plus, check, check-minus system. Like they’re afraid to tell us if something is good or bad.
Like we’re children.
In my early-level courses, I was grateful for the sugarcoating. Writing is a vulnerable act, and early on encouragement is probably more important than honesty.
After a while, I began to distrust this plastic layer of niceness.
Now it’s reached the point where I completely distrust anything positive about my work.
The problem with English majors is that they’re goddman sensitive. Everyone’s got some common problem with a simple solution, but instead of trying to solve the problem they expect the universe to change around them.
I wrote all this last week. If it reads as a condemnation of people feeling bad for themselves then good – I fooled you. I also fooled myself. That’s what I was really trying to do.
But you can’t run away forever, and it looks like things have finally caught up to me.
Oftentimes when I make fun of things, it’s because I’m trying to expel something I see in myself. That’s what I was trying to do with the first half of this post, but I just couldn’t finish it.
I’ve been posting every Thursday for a while now, but I missed last week because I was staring at my computer, wondering what was standing in my way.
I like to think of myself as the type of person who is in control of their emotions, but that’s only because I know I’m not. My outside behavior is a product of carefully maintained self-manipulation.
I don’t think this is unusual, and everyone does it to some degree, but for me it’s a constant process. When I see people acting in complete disregard of their own insignificance it enrages me.
I’m going to try to be more empathetic.