Why I’m Afraid of Haircuts

My hair grows very fast. I know this because, in my family’s lean and early years, my constant haircuts were a source of contention.


As the member of our little family that contributed least to our financial security, I felt it my responsibility to keep the monetary burden of haircuts as minimal as possible.

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I kept my haircuts down to one or two a year. As a result, this cycle of growth and removal became unintentionally ritualized – a trend that continued long past the age when it is appropriate for parents to pay for personal grooming.


I did not realize to what extent this cycle had on me until several days ago when I decided to cut my hair before the new semester and found I was deathly afraid.

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There’s a barbershop I pass every time I walk to the grocery store. It’s just some guy’s house with a sign and phone number outside.

This house used to just tell me I was one block away from packaged food. Now every time I passed it,  the house was like a guilt-machine reminding me of my crippling personality flaws.


I bought more and more groceries to force myself to keep passing the house, until finally I had mustered up enough courage to schedule an appointment.

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Three sunsets later, I returned to the house/barbershop.

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The Barber washed my hair and then cut it.


I had 25 dollars in my wallet. He charged 20 dollars, so I gave him a 5 dollar tip.  He said if I ever needed a quick trim it was free.

When I looked in the mirror, I was amazed by how symmetrical the haircut was. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that haircut was actually asymmetrical, but in a manner inverse to the way my face is asymmetrical, making the face as a whole therefore symmetrical.

Most haircuts I’ve had try to be perfectly even, but the human face isn’t perfectly even.


I guess if you decide to cut hair in your basement, you probably know what you’re doing.


Here’s to new beginnings.

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31 thoughts on “Why I’m Afraid of Haircuts

  1. might be eating too much protein..why your hair grows so fast. you could wear more caps to hide the mop.

    lov your drawings 🙂

  2. If I could like this more than once, I would. My hair grows really fast too. I didn’t like haircuts all that much though I hated people telling me that I needed haircut.

    Anyway, this was awesome! Feel kinda bad that I moved to tumblr.

  3. I had this thing where I just wouldn’t get around to getting haircuts, mostly because I was a young guy and would have to get up early Saturday morning to get to my barber. Or, worse, I’d have to go to a different barber, and you know, it’s so much easier to grow just a little shaggier and long story short my barber once said he wanted me to make appointments so he could invite his bald customers around and weep at how much hair got left on the floor when I was through.

  4. Okay, so you’re one of those very rare bloggers who makes me crack up to tears. Also, as someone who until very recently was in a similar situation, you’re better off with the short hair. Much more manageable.

  5. I really love reading your posts here! My hair grows really really fast as well and it gets all curly and crap. And yes, it is far too expensive to get regular haircuts, so I say let it all grow!

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