Why I’m Afraid of Haircuts

My hair grows very fast. I know this because, in my family’s lean and early years, my constant haircuts were a source of contention.

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As the member of our little family that contributed least to our financial security, I felt it my responsibility to keep the monetary burden of haircuts as minimal as possible.

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I kept my haircuts down to one or two a year. As a result, this cycle of growth and removal became unintentionally ritualized – a trend that continued long past the age when it is appropriate for parents to pay for personal grooming.

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I did not realize to what extent this cycle had on me until several days ago when I decided to cut my hair before the new semester and found I was deathly afraid.

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There’s a barbershop I pass every time I walk to the grocery store. It’s just some guy’s house with a sign and phone number outside.

This house used to just tell me I was one block away from packaged food. Now every time I passed it,  the house was like a guilt-machine reminding me of my crippling personality flaws.

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I bought more and more groceries to force myself to keep passing the house, until finally I had mustered up enough courage to schedule an appointment.

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Three sunsets later, I returned to the house/barbershop.

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The Barber washed my hair and then cut it.

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I had 25 dollars in my wallet. He charged 20 dollars, so I gave him a 5 dollar tip.  He said if I ever needed a quick trim it was free.

When I looked in the mirror, I was amazed by how symmetrical the haircut was. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that haircut was actually asymmetrical, but in a manner inverse to the way my face is asymmetrical, making the face as a whole therefore symmetrical.

Most haircuts I’ve had try to be perfectly even, but the human face isn’t perfectly even.

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I guess if you decide to cut hair in your basement, you probably know what you’re doing.

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Here’s to new beginnings.

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~Fin