Self Worship on Facebook

When Facebook first became accessible to me, it was my favorite thing in the world. I could talk to my friends, play fun-stupid games, and posts pictures of myself looking cool. It was a little shrine dedicated to the center of my universe – Myself.

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Unfortunately, like all places of worship, as Facebook grew in popularity so did its message become diluted. The joys of connecting through mutual self-worship were lost under a wash of political capitalization. People stopped posting about their lives and thoughts and started posting links to banal sponsorships and teutonic memeary. I received friend requests from people in countries I’d never even heard of, who immediately invited me to an event I’d never be able to attend. If they were really my friends, they would know I don’t have the time or means to attend their one-man charity show to stop Kony2012.

 The beauty of simple narcissism had been taken over by a desire to acquire political currency.

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The fastest way to disengage me from your religious views is to mix them in with politics, an occurrence all too common on my quickly disintegrating Facebook.

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When I looked at my Facebook this is now what I saw: a place less about self-expression and more about self-aggrandizement. The Gods of Us had become tools to push product. We’d sold ourselves into a plantation where we were both slave and slavedriver. So, like every other god I’d once loved, I decided to abandon Myself.

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~Fin

America Finally Ends

So guess what? I’m living in an anarchist state.

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A couple of days ago, the American government officially shut its doors. And then locked those doors, and flipped their country off, and then went off to enjoy the paychecks they’re still receiving thanks to the 27th amendment to our constitution. In this way, the 27th amendment is kind of the perfect allegory for the American Government itself. That is:

On paper it has good intentions

In practice it’s selfish and juvenile

It took over 200 years to get done.

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That’s what I don’t understand. Democratic and Republicans both love the same things – eating expensive foodstuffs, gerrymandering districts, taking pictures of their dicks – they’re like the two kids in school fighting over Star Wars and Star Trek. You’re both a bunch of fucking nerds who like stars! Stop arguing over whether the stars are going on a trek or going to war!

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Everyone should have figured out that America is the greatest country in the world – if you’re already rich. Otherwise it kind of blows. We have to go into personal debt to receive what places like Canada and France take as basic human rights.

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But I suppose none of that matters now that I expect to buy medicine with cookie-dough protein bars and recently deceased rat pelts. Rest in peace.

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~Fin